Question: Sometimes when I am very happy because I have had a very good meditation, the next day I get depressed. Why does that happen?

Sri Chinmoy: The reason is that hostile forces, undivine forces, become very annoyed that you have made progress. They are always alert and they are alarmed to see that you have made enormous progress through your good meditation. They are afraid that tomorrow you will make the same kind of progress and they will lose you for good. The undivine forces do not want to allow that, so they attack you. Only if you fight them can you continue to make progress.

How do these forces attack you? There are various ways. One way is that when you have had a significant experience, they come and say, “You have done so many things wrong. You don’t deserve what Guru, out of his infinite kindness, has given you.” Then the subtle ego inside you says, “It is true. I don’t deserve that, so I won’t keep it,” and you just give it up. Although you have come to me with utmost humility and devoted qualities, these forces are so clever that they convince you that you didn’t deserve what you received. In this world nobody wants to be a beggar; nobody wants to be an object of pity. The moment you hear that you didn’t deserve it, you don’t want it. Instead, you should say, “I worked for three or four hours. I meditated and I was happy. That is why he gave me the capacity to have that experience.” The only time these hostile forces can enter is when you allow them. If you are adamant in rejecting them, then they have to leave you.

Another way the hostile forces attack you is by giving you an inferiority complex. If you think that the person who sat beside you had a better meditation than you, that feeling is very bad. In the outer world we compete. “I was defeated by so-and-so or I defeated so-and-so,” is what human beings say in the outer world. But in the inner world there is no competition, or at least competition is one-sided: with oneself alone. You will compete with your own doubt, fear, anxiety, jealousy and so forth.

In the outer world you have only two or three competitors and this competition will last for a day. But in the inner world you have many competitors. Fear, doubt, anxiety, depression, worry and many others are all ready to rob you of your joy. They come to you and say, “Yesterday we lost, but today we are here to challenge you again.” What happens then? You are not prepared, but they have challenged you and with your little ego you say, “All right, I accept your challenge.” Then fear comes and runs ahead of you while doubt holds your legs, and jealousy pulls you backward. If they were fair competitors, before the big race they would agree to run properly, but they don’t. Just before you start, anxiety will come and strangle you. So you have to be really ready to run. You must be fully prepared so that when the competition begins, they won’t have a chance.

When you have a divine experience, if you can hold its reality inside you for a few days, then it becomes solid. At that time, the hostile forces cannot enter. Try to hold your divine experiences very firmly, especially for the first few days. Always try to remember whenever you do something good. Forget about the bad things and do not allow the tricky hostile forces to remind you of them. They are not necessary; they are all dust. If you can remember only the good things, then you can make much progress.

Sri Chinmoy, AUM — Vol.II-1, No.11, November 27, 1974.First published by Vishma Press in 1974.

This is the 9090th book that Sri Chinmoy has written since he came to the West, in 1964.

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by Sri Chinmoy
From the book AUM — Vol.II-1, No.11, November 27, 1974, made available to share under a Creative Commons license

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