Question: Although I am sure that this is my Path and I get intense joy in my heart from my devotion to You and Mother, sometimes I feel a strong longing for a quiet, monastic life. Where does that longing come from and if it has a negative origin, how can I best overcome it?

Sri Chinmoy: In your case, this longing for a monastic life comes from the jealous deceptive vital — not from the frustrated vital, no, but from the deceptive vital. Right now your heart is getting very great, boundless joy from your devoted, selfless service at the Centre, because you are working very, very hard to please us. Immediately, your vital becomes jealous and tries to convince you that there is much more joy somewhere else. This is not true. It is telling you that you must go to a cave in the Himalayas in order to meditate and realise God. But this is a very ancient path. It was your path once; it is not your path today. This is not necessary; it is not correct today.

If austerity and self-negation were the way to realisation you should cut off your arms, and then your nose, and your ears and your legs. You should cut off limb after limb and then you would realise God. Then we would say: “He has really achieved self-negation”. It is the same with the monastic life. One cannot go to the Himalayas and sit in a cave and have realisation which would be waiting for you like a fruit which you think you can go and eat. No. This is not possible today.

Perhaps, when one is living a very materialistic life, like these people who say “eat, drink and be merry,” and one wishes to change, then it would be good to lead a monastic life for a very brief period, but that is all. One must strike a balance; one need not build a Taj Mahal in order to meditate in a new palace every day, but one must not go to a cave either. Today, one must live in a small apartment or a house — very simple, but not austere.

This is just your vital, trying to pull you out of your chosen path. Everywhere we see this: the father is jealous of the son’s progress. The father teaches the son, but the son goes to the university and gets a degree, and then he can teach even his father. You must change your teacher; you have been a very devoted student of your mind and vital, and now they are jealous of your heart’s joy. You must tell them to become one with the heart, or else you’ll have no need for them.

What one must do is to use everything in a divine way. Instead of using your leg to kick somebody, walk five miles to do that person a service; instead of slapping someone, caress him, and so on. Force the other parts of your being to enter into your heart’s boundless joy at having accepted our path.