Protection and inner conviction

For those who follow the spiritual life, the protection of the Supreme is always there. If some calamity takes place in your family, and if you have been meditating sincerely and devotedly and praying every day, then feel that the calamity could have been infinitely worse. Suppose an accident has taken place. An ordinary person will say, “Oh, there is no protection, nothing.” But if you are really spiritual, if you are my true disciple, then I wish to say that the Supreme in you has protected you. It could have been worse, infinitely worse.

If you are sincerely dedicated and devoted, then the suffering that you go through in life is nothing in comparison to the suffering that you might otherwise have gone through. And God alone knows how much suffering your Guru goes through on your behalf. The Supreme alone knows what this body of mine has gone through for the sake of the disciples’ imperfections. It was His Will for me to accept it and I did it. Let me not brag. Only I wish to tell you, whenever you suffer, please feel that it could have been infinitely worse.

If you really follow the path of spirituality, if you are really sincere, devoted and dedicated, then the law of karma can easily be negated or nullified. But what happens is that today you are sincere and tomorrow you are most insincere. Today this Guru is very good; today I am nice to you. But tomorrow I am absolutely useless. This moment you feel that I am good, the next moment you feel that I am bad. When you think that I am good, don’t think at that time that I am going to be very generous to you in the inner world or in the outer world. The Supreme in me will observe for how many days you maintain your faith in me. Today some of you will have faith in me just for half an hour. Then, when you go home, faith will go away. But I wish to say if you can forever maintain your faith in me, then there is nothing that you cannot do. I am not scolding you at all. I am only telling you how you can be fulfilled.

This moment I have smiled at you, so you feel that I am a very good man. The next moment, if I don’t get the chance to smile at you, if I turn to the other side to talk to somebody else, then according to you I am a very bad man.

Believe me, when you say that I am a good man, that I hear; and when you think that I am a bad man, that also I feel. You will think that since I have not looked at you, you will be able to deceive me. I may not see you at all, but my inner beings will bring me the message. Like a magnet they will bring the message.

By thinking that I am bad or by feeling that I am good, you will not gain anything. Only by becoming good will you gain something. If you can become good, then you will get everything. You think I am very bad, let us say; the teacher is not good at all. No harm. But if you can make your life better, automatically you will see good in me.

Quite a few of the disciples feel, “Guru does not care for me, Guru does not care for us.” Just by thinking repeatedly that Guru does not care for you, you won’t gain anything. If you think that I don’t care for you, that I will never care for you — if you cherish that idea for the rest of your life — you will not get one drop more of my concern from the sea of my consciousness. If you feel that I only care for others, you are not going to get one drop more from me.

Try to feel how many seconds I do think of you. Ask yourself, “How many times did I think to fulfil him in his own way?” Perhaps you will give yourself zero. Perhaps you will think that you try to fulfil me in my own way once a month. And, I tell you, there are disciples who do not make that attempt even once during the whole month.

The moment you think or feel that you can fulfil me in my own way, you have already fulfilled me. My concern, my love, does not depend on my smile or my blessing. It depends on your own inner and outer action. Inwardly, while you are walking, if you have a good thought about me, I wish to say that your whole inner being is flooded with joy. I don’t have to talk to you for a month. If you can have only once a divine thought, you are bound to get inner joy.

Why don’t you get this joy now? It is not because some people see me quite often and you do not. No, it is precisely because you are lacking in inner conviction. That inner conviction feels, “I am of you and I am for you.” Unless you feel, “I am of you,” you can never have the feeling, “I am for you.” You have to feel that I am one with you in your suffering. Right now you feel that only when you do something great am I for you, and that when you do something bad, at that time I am not with you. No, that is the wrong attitude. If you do anything wrong, immediately identify yourself and your wrong action with me. If you can identify yourself at that time with me, then you will be able to come out of it.

Suppose you have insulted or scolded someone. Already you are undivine. But then, if you separate yourself from me and feel that I am not in you, that I am not sympathising with you and with your thoughts, then immediately your anger will come towards me. You will say, “I have done such a wrong thing. I got angry with this person. It is very bad, very bad. And where was Guru? Why did he not protect me? What was he doing? Was he sleeping?” This is your reaction. But I wish to say, at the time you get angry with someone, try to feel that I am one with the action and with the result. You got angry; now you are getting the result. You are feeling miserable. But now you have to feel whether I am also suffering. Am I saying that I don’t want to see you, or that you deserve punishment? Am I saying that since you got angry and did not behave properly, you deserve this kind of suffering? No! Do not cherish the idea that I am saying that. At that time make me one with you. Bring me, pull me, into all your wrong forces, into your suffering.

Every day you can write down on the tablet of your heart many things that you have done wrong in thought and action. If you write them down, perhaps good disciples will get ten or fifteen wrong actions; bad ones will get fifty or sixty. Then tomorrow, again you start. Be your own examiner. Every day you examine yourself. When you have done something good, offer it. When you have done something bad, that also you offer. Everything, offer, offer, offer to me. But if you hold onto it, then it is impossible for me to enter into you.

Sri Chinmoy, Creation and perfection.First published by Agni Press in 1976.

This is the 286th book that Sri Chinmoy has written since he came to the West, in 1964.


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by Sri Chinmoy
From the book Creation and perfection, made available to share under a Creative Commons license

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