Once you leave the Ashram, in the opinion of some of the Ashramites, you have touched the abysmal abyss; you are not meant for the spiritual life; you are nothing other than a useless fellow. Then wild criticism you have to face. Dilip Roy was the darling of Sri Aurobindo, but when he left, he had to face lots of criticism. People who once upon a time had been his great friends, his great admirers, all felt that he had descended. They did not want to keep any connection with him. Because of this, Dilip-da suffered a great deal.
Dilip Roy's father, Dwijendra Lal Roy, was an extremely gifted playwright and poet. The entire Bengal knew his name, and people throughout the length and breadth of Bengal sang the national songs that he composed. Such a great writer he was! The song that I always sing very loudly, to my heart's content, "Ghana Tama Sabrita", that is also his song.
When I was still in India, I was inspired to write an article about D.L. Roy in English. It is called, "Mother India in her Sweetest." I sent a copy of the article from Pondicherry to Pune, where Dilip-da was residing. There Dilip-da had established a temple. It is called Hari Krishna Mandir.
I requested Dilip-da to correct my article. He did so and sent it back to me with a letter. In that letter he wrote much about Nolini-da. He compared Nolini-da with his most illustrious father. I showed the letter to Nolini-da and his comment was: "Dilip is really mad! He compares me with his father." This happened in 1962.
After I came to America, again I sent my article on his father to Dilip-da in Pune. This time I requested permission to publish the article in my book about India's spiritual leaders entitled "Mother India's Lighthouse". Dilip-da wrote back to me appreciating the article very much. Then he added, "I am advising you, no matter how much you suffer, never, never go back to Pondicherry. People will say that you have gone to the dogs, but never go back."
I did not mention a word about the suffering that I had gone through in my American life for about two years. But he knew what he had gone through when he left Pondicherry for Pune, so that is why he gave me this most precious advice. Unfortunately, I could not comply with his request. In 1969, after five years in America, I returned to the Ashram for a brief visit and the Mother inundated me with Her compassion and affection. Then my life changed for the better.
That letter was my last contact with Dilip-da.