My Cousin’s Wedding

Our distant cousins, from the same Ghosh²² family, lived two or three houses away from us in the village of Shakpura. The day before their son’s wedding, my father died. In Indian tradition, when somebody dies, when the soul goes to Heaven, the whole family is considered impure. That meant that our cousins, also, were impure. It is considered a very bad sign.

The wedding was the following day. My cousin’s family wanted to keep it top secret that my father had passed away. They pretended nothing had happened, and the next day the bridegroom went to the bride’s place to bring her in the palanquin to the wedding.

But in the village, nothing remains a secret. The bride’s family came to learn somehow about my father’s passing, and they were furious. Both the bridegroom and bride were supposed to ride in the palanquin. But the actual bride did not come. In Indian villages, usually parents make the decision about their children’s marriage. Wives do not see their husbands beforehand, and vice versa. So the groom did not know what the bride looked like.

The bride’s brother was nice looking, and he put on a sari. What happened, instead of the bride, the brother was riding with the groom in the palanquin three and a half miles to the site of the wedding. Half a mile before they reached the destination, the so-called bride said she had to respond to nature’s call immediately. The palanquin bearers were shocked and embarrassed because she was a girl. The brother went behind a bush, and then he disappeared completely. The palanquin bearers and my cousin were waiting for the bride. She was nowhere to be found. So the groom went back home, without the bride.

After the traditional one month mourning period, the bride’s family still did not trust our cousins, so they did not allow their daughter to marry the groom. This story happened in our family, to our distant cousins.

16 September 2002 Sri Chinmoy Centre