Question: I would like to know what is your opinion regarding sexual love?Sri Chinmoy: Sexual love, love of the lower vital, has to be transcended, but it depends entirely on the seeker. An ordinary person who does not want the spiritual life can remain with sexual love. But, if one wants to have real joy, everlasting joy, then he has to transcend the need of sex. It has to be done slowly, steadily and unerringly. If you tell a seeker who has just entered the spiritual life that he has to give up his sex life, naturally he will be frustrated. He will be broken and he will make no progress.
I tell my disciples who have entered into the spiritual life, those who are still beginners, to deal with sex as you deal with tea. If you take five cups of tea daily, then try to make it four cups. Then, after a few months, try to make it three cups a day. Then after a few months, two. Like that, gradually, you have to diminish your need. Your sex need also has to be transcended in that way. Otherwise, if you want to conquer sex as soon as you enter into the spiritual life, specially when your vital is not ready or pure, then what will happen? It will destroy your aspiration. There will be a tug-of-war between your aspiration and the gross physical need. Your nature will only be purified slowly and steadily on the strength of your inner urge, your aspiration. Then you will see that there is a great difference between pleasure and joy. Unfortunately, unaspiring people are making a Himalayan blunder when they think that pleasure is a form of joy. We always see pleasure is followed by frustration, and frustration is followed by destruction. But joy is followed by more joy and abundant joy. And then what happens? In joy, within joy, we get real fulfilment. So it depends entirely on the sincere seeker. If he wants to be inundated with boundless peace, light and bliss, then he has to purify his nature. He has to transcend his sex need eventually. Otherwise, the transcendental peace, light and bliss will remain a far cry for him. It is like this. We cannot taste sugar and salt together. If you want to have the taste of sugar, you have to take sugar. If you want to have the taste of salt, you have to take salt. In the spiritual life one has to make a decision and then go slowly and steadily. One has to be prepared for the Hour when human emotion is to be transcended. At that Golden Hour, the seeker has to be fully prepared to transcend his physical needs for the realisation of the highest Absolute. But I advise my disciples not to be in a hurry. Go slowly, steadily. Slow and steady wins the race. Otherwise, if you are not prepared and if you want to run very fast, but you do not have the capacity to run fast, you will simply drop in your tracks. Then you will break your legs. Similarly here — you will lose all your aspiration, the limited aspiration that you do have. So the best thing, according to one's outer and inner inspiration and aspiration, is for one to try to gradually overcome the physical need, the need of the lower vital. Then, on the strength of one's sincere inner urge, he has to run towards the light. It is in light that there is fulfilment. It is in light that there is perfection.