Question: Sometimes I feel much devotion towards you, and at other times I feel very far away from you, almost unspiritual.Sri Chinmoy: You are absolutely right. You have to know that your consciousness has not yet attained to a fixed standard, so I do not blame you. You are sincere; you are telling me about this. There are many in the same boat. It is applicable to many, if not to all. The question that you are asking is a universal question. This moment you are all-devotion; the next moment you can do many undivine things.
This means that at the present stage of your spiritual life you cannot expect the most delicious food every day. You want to eat delicious food every day, but once a week perhaps you get it. But the standard that you want to maintain in the spiritual life will come gradually, gradually. Once you are well-established inwardly, at that time you will feel that I am always your dearest friend. Then afterwards, you will feel that I am part and parcel of your life.
Please feel that I am an extension of your consciousness. Don't think that I am a foreigner, an Indian; don't think that I have come to disturb your poise. No! Just think, "My Master is part and parcel of my existence. Since I have accepted him as my teacher, that means he is one inch better than I am. Otherwise, I would not have accepted him." I know that my right hand is stronger than my left hand. When I throw shotput, I use my right hand and not my left hand, but the left hand is also mine. I will use this hand to do many other things that the right hand will not do. In the spiritual life also, if you can feel me as an extension of your consciousness, then, I tell you, there will be no problem. Even if you feel that you are undivine, my love and concern for you will never diminish. A real spiritual Master never depends on the disciples' restless, unpredictable, inner emotional weather. This moment you will be divine, the next moment you will be undivine. But don't feel sorry. This is only an experience that you are going through. Don't worry about it at all. Only try your best to do the right thing.