I surrendered to her weapon1Nirod knew that the Mother and I had some differences after I came to America. He asked me what happened. I said, "The Mother used a weapon which conquered me. I surrendered to her weapon."
He asked, "What kind of weapon was it?"
I said, "It was very powerful."
Again he asked, "What was it?"
I said, "You know that the Mother said one thing and I said something else. We had a wonderful disagreement. Finally the Mother wrote to someone in red ink, 'Tell Chinmoy that I am still his Divine Mother.' That weapon really killed me! That weapon was too difficult for me to fight against. I shed tears."
In this particular story, after I came to America, the Mother wrote to an Ashram member in New York, "When you see Chinmoy next time, show this to him." That was in ordinary black or blue ink. But in red ink she wrote, "Tell Chinmoy that I am still his Divine Mother." That was the Mother's weapon that conquered me.
FSC 13. 5 December 1997, Nassau, Bahamas↩