Question: Did you have any inner experiences with the Cosmic Gods and Goddesses when you lifted 1,300 pounds and 1,500 pounds with one arm?

Sri Chinmoy: From 1,300 pounds on, Mother Kali, my dearest Goddess, is the only one. Today, before my assistants dismantled the dumbbell, I took Mother Kali's picture and I placed it on each metal plate. On each plate I put her blessings before we brought it down.

Each time I lift up a heavy weight, I see her standing with one foot on each side of the weight. She makes me feel that the weight is so light. Then I see occultly that it has gone up. This confidence she gives that it has already gone up. And sometimes she will say, "My child, it is already done." Then I will see a garland on her, around her. But while I am lifting, I see the garland is not there; it is on my neck. So these are my cock-and-bull stories. She is all the time with me when I am lifting.

Then there are others who come. When it was a matter of 1,300 pounds and 1,500 pounds, I saw the souls of Nivedita and my sister Lily. My sister is still on the physical plane and Nivedita is in the other world. My sister was absolutely dead against this lift. She was afraid I would have serious injuries. Even when I was successfully holding the weight, my sister was dead against it. Meanwhile, Nivedita's soul was saying, "No, my Lord can do it, my Lord can do it." Finally, when I did it, my sister was very happy.

The previous lift —- 1,300 pounds —- the soul of this Canadian lady, Nivedita, was all the time moving around telling me that I can do it. I go to this side to take preliminary exercises and I hear her telling me that I can do it. She has a most beautiful soul. Like a fairy, it was moving around me all the time saying, "My Lord, you can do it." I was uncertain, but she was going on, going on.

Since her passing, Nivedita's soul has come to me three times. These lifting experiences are most significant. On the one hand, my sister's soul was telling me not to lift because she was so worried, and there, side-by-side, Nivedita's soul was telling me that I can do it. So you can see how many things are happening in the inner world! Two persons have different opinions and Mother Kali is saying lift—how can one person handle everything? Only if you have inner poise. Otherwise, you will just drop the weight. You will say that he is bothering me, she is bothering me. But I am not bothered.

I have many, many juicy stories before the lift, during the lift and after the lift. Many, many stories. In a matter of a fleeting second, not even a second, I am seeing how many things are happening. It is not that my mind is roaming here and there, no. I am concentrating, but I am seeing that here and there it is all going on. In the sky we see that birds are flying, but we do not see any trace of the birds. The sky is not affected. It is like that; I am unaffected.

When the mind is calm and quiet and vacant, nothing will affect it. But if the mind is not calm, quiet and vacant, then at every moment it is affected. It does not have to be bad thoughts; even good thoughts can affect the mind. Sometimes, when people are upset, even good thoughts affect them. Let us say that you are upset. If someone says to you even a nice word, you hate him because you are in a very low consciousness. Afterwards, you realise, "He was so kind to me, he was greeting me in such a nice way." But at the time, you were already upset, so his good thoughts, his smile, his love, will not do anything for you.

If you are in a very high consciousness, on the other hand, at that time even if people are not polite to you, if they are unkind to you, you will not be affected.

Again, sometimes it can happen that when you have come down from your highest meditation, you have tremendous intensity. At that time, if somebody misbehaves or says something unkind to you, you become more furious. This is nothing but an attack of the hostile forces to ruin your highest height. You have to know that many times it has happened during your life, you have reached a very high consciousness during your meditation, and the next moment you see somebody whom you do not like. That person does not have to say a word to you, nothing. Just because he or she is your enemy, you direct all your intense dislike at that person. Then your high consciousness disappears. All the intensity that you had accumulated from the meditation for half an hour or an hour is ruined. So the hostile force brought that person right in front of you. One hour it took you to go to the highest Himalayas, then that person appeared before you and everything was finished!

If you had a little more wisdom, then immediately for that particular second you would have offered your love and goodwill to your so-called enemy. That is the only way to save yourself and preserve all your highest meditation that you had, your good thoughts, your elevated consciousness and so on. If you had wisdom at that time, then for that fleeting second if you had offered your goodwill to that person whom you may not like at all, then you would not have been affected. It is your own stupidity that caused you to descend. Then you lost all the inner wealth that you had accumulated. Your treasure, you lost it.

So often it happens that people lose their highest meditation. Even if the other party is a friend it can happen. You are still in your highest, let us say, and you are going out of the building. If somebody says even hello to you, or anything unimportant, you do not have the oneness-power to remain unaffected. You maintain your pride that you have gone so high, then you become mad at the person and you become the loser. You think that person has lowered your consciousness, so you are mad. I assure you, if you come down to that person's hello-consciousness, you are not going to lose anything, but when you are angry, upset, that he or she has lowered your consciousness, that means you have definitely lowered your own consciousness. This is all one hundred per cent true. Have you people experienced this or not? Or is it all my imagination? Is there anybody who thinks that I am wrong?