Question: Lately I've been conscious of a number of obstructions in my outer life.Sri Chinmoy: At that time cry, cry like a child. The other day at the United Nations I gave this meditation: "In the outer life, he who cries is a lost child." Somebody is crying. That means he is lost or something is wrong with him. "In the inner life, he who does not cry is a lost child." In the outer life, he who cries is a lost child; but in the inner life he who does not cry is a lost child. So when the problems of the outer being stand as an obstruction, cry inwardly. That cry is not for name or fame. That cry is for inner illumination. When the outer being is an obstacle, it means that the sun, the inner sun, is eclipsed by fear, doubt, anxiety, worry or some other negative force. Right now the sun is overcast, but it is bound to become visible again. The inner sun is covered by what? By ignorance, doubt, anxiety and worry. But consciously if you pray or meditate to bring the inner sun, your own illumined sun, to the fore, it will get strength and it will come forward. Now you have to know whether you want it or not. If you want the inner sun to come to the fore, then it will come forward. When the sun comes, at that time doubt disappears, fear disappears, everything undivine disappears.
So either you have to bring forward the inner sun or you have to be satisfied with fear and doubt. How can you bring to the fore the inner sun? When you pray to the Supreme and meditate on the Supreme, always pray that the illumined part inside you, the illumined being or the inner sun, will come to the fore. Then you will see that there can be no obstacle. You are unable to walk along the street if the street is very dark or full of obstacles. But if the road is all illumined, then you can walk, you can run, you can go as fast as you want to. In the inner life also, if you think positively, if you think of Peace, Light and Bliss, then naturally your inner sun will come to your rescue. But if you don't pray and meditate, then all obscure, undivine, impure forces will always come and bother you.
The very tendency of ordinary human life is to unconsciously cherish the undivine forces. But consciously if you can treasure your aspiration, your love for God, your love for Truth and Reality, then these undivine forces cannot attack you. They will feel that they are not wanted. In this world everybody gets disgusted if he is not wanted. If the wrong forces see all the divine forces inside you, then they will say, "Oh, she does not care for us. Why should we go on showing her our constant compassion if it is ignored?" Ignorance also has its pride. First ignorance wants to grab you, torture you, keep you under its jurisdiction and say that you belong to ignorance. But then you show ignorance that you are becoming friends with light. Then ignorance will use all its power to keep you away from light, but it finds that you don't care for its power. Secretly you have made friends with light. You have been staying with ignorance but you do not care for ignorance. Secretly, secretly you have been all the time appreciating your new friend, light. So ignorance says, "Why should I keep this person who is my enemy? He is all the time making friends with light. Secretly he is going to the light, secretly on his own he is hiding and praying to God for Light." Then ignorance will be disgusted with you. Ignorance will say, "It is beneath my dignity to keep her. If she stays with me, then she has to fight for me. Otherwise it is like a soldier who is asked by the commander to kill the enemy, but instead of killing the enemy, which is light, he kills the commander instead." So the commander, ignorance, becomes afraid and says, "No, no, I don't need you. I can't tell you what to do anymore. Go away." It is always like that. People get disgusted when they work very hard for someone and then that person does not listen to them. They say, "All right, go your own way." So ignorance also has its own obscure, impure way of operating. Although you will see that it is leading you toward destruction, ignorance tells you, "I have done so much for you and you are so ungrateful." How clever ignorance can be!