Sri Chinmoy: At the Centre I am not bringing down that kind of light. In a public meditation, the whole hall is flooded with my power, with my light. Right now, I am absolutely normal. But when I am in a public meditation, I am a totally different person. There my consciousness is on a very, very high level. At that time if you try to pull beyond your receptivity, then you are in trouble. It is not that others have been bringing negative forces into you. No! So the best thing for you to do is sit at the back. There the power is less, but if you sit in the front row, you suffer because your capacity is very limited. As you increase your capacity, it will become easy for you to receive more. That is why I always say, "Don't pull, don't push."
There is one other thing in your case. You have unconsciously developed a sense of pride, which is the worst thing. I am telling this to all my disciples. Some of you have joined our boat just yesterday, but you are of the opinion that you do better meditation than our older disciples This is absolutely wrong. You have to show respect to those who have come into the family before you. Some of my most recent disciples feel that they are far superior to the older disciples. This is absurd. When you sit beside the older disciples, you should feel that they are your elder brothers. Please feel that this is a family and you are the youngest. Your eldest brothers and sisters know quite a few things far better than you know. So it is not beneath your dignity to learn from your superiors.
Unfortunately, some of you have the feeling that you know far better than they, and if you sit beside them you feel that your aspiration is decreasing because they are inferior. Please do not cherish this kind of false notion. If you cherish this kind of idea, no matter where you meditate, your own superiority complex will ruin your aspiration. When you are with older disciples, you should feel happy and proud that you are able to mix with them. If you have the idea that they are ruining your meditation, that you are entering into /nirvikalpa samadhi,/ and then they are pulling you down, this is absurd, absurd. You should try to be with them in order to learn, and not to make yourself feel that you know better than they. When you are in a group with other people, your problem is that you do not identify yourself with them. On the contrary, there is a kind of unconscious superiority.