The gentleman shoots a burglarThere was a gentleman who had a bad habit of drinking. He never drank at home or at the office; in these places he was a perfect gentleman. But sometimes he would drink on his way home from work.
One night the man came home late from the office, and on that particular night he was heavily drunk. His wife had been waiting up for him, but finally she had fallen asleep. When the man arrived, he didn’t want to disturb his wife, his son or his servant. He just wanted to get into his bed very quietly. So very softly he opened the side door and he didn’t turn on the light.
When he entered into his house, he saw a man standing in one corner of his living room. The gentleman always kept a revolver in his pocket. So he took out the revolver and shot the intruder. The gun made a very loud noise and his son, wife and servant came running. They cried, “What has happened? What has happened?”
He said, “I just shot a burglar.”
O God, when they turned on the lights they saw it was just a coat hanging in the living room. His wife had bought a new suit for him and the jacket and trousers were hanging there. She was going to give it to him the next day as a gift for his birthday.
The wife said, “What have you done? I took so much time shopping for this and I spent so much money on it! Why didn’t you call us and wake us up if you thought there was a burglar in the house?”
The gentleman said, “You are such a fool! Luckily it was not a man. Otherwise, I would be in jail by now!”