Question: How can I be an unselfish parent and also a good disciple?

Sri Chinmoy: If you are already an unselfish parent, then automatically you are a good disciple. Just because you are unselfish, you have become a good disciple. Again, just because you are a good disciple, you will be unselfish. If you are unselfish, not only as a parent but in anything, then naturally it is because your aspiration has increased.

Right now, what you call your selfishness is all in the mind. You have come here and left your children at home. The physical mind will say, "How selfish! She is enjoying herself here and her children are at home. Perhaps nobody is there to take care of them." So the unillumined mind says that you are selfish. But the divine will say, "No. She stays with her children every day. But if once in a blue moon she goes to a spiritual function, she will bring back abundant light, boundless light for her children." Your inner cry is bringing you to me; then you are able to take light from me and bring it to your children. You give them physical food three times a day. Now you want to give them something very solid, substantial and unique. Is this selfishness? Your physical mind is telling you that you are ignoring your children. But your spiritual heart will say, "No. I have given them material food, so now let me go to Guru and get solid spiritual food to give them." It is not selfishness. It is your inner awareness of the truth and reality which I stand for and which I am.

Just because you are a sincere seeker, selfishness cannot catch you. And when selfishness is not there, automatically you become a sincere seeker. So sincerity and selflessness go together. The human mind won't understand. It will say, "For my own sake, I am leaving my children at home and going there to enjoy myself." But the spiritual heart will say, "Where I am, they are. Am I not carrying them inside my heart? Can I go anywhere without carrying them? I am not going alone." So if you approach the reality with the heart, then there is no selfishness. But if you approach it with the mind, then it is all selfishness.