Part IISCA 411-412. Questions asked by Sri Chinmoy's disciples at Annam Brahma Restaurant in Jamaica, New York on 25 May 1996.
Question: You talk about the inner cry and the outer smile. For some reason, when I get the inner cry, I do not seem to be able to get the outer smile. The inner cry makes me feel sad, and I cannot get the outer joy.Sri Chinmoy: If it is the real inner cry, if it comes from the heart, then this inner cry will definitely give you joy. The cry that you are presently experiencing is not from the heart; it is from the vital. The vital and the heart are very close to one another. So we sometimes mistake the heart for the vital or the vital for the heart. If the cry comes from the vital, then there will be depression in your outer life. But if the cry comes from the heart, if it is a real cry, then this mounting cry itself is joy. When we intensely cry for God in our meditation or in our prayers, we do not have to wait for the results. At that time the cry itself is joy.
If you say that the cry is inside but outside you are depressed, or you are not getting happiness, that means the cry is not from the heart. It is from the vital. The vital is very tricky. It tries to take the place of the heart. The heart is compassionate. It allows the vital to do this. If a little brother wants to fool others and say that he is as strong as his elder brother, inwardly others may laugh, but they do not make fun of him in public. Similarly, the heart is compassionate when the vital, the little brother, wants to play the role of the heart.
Very often the heart either can be fooled by the vital or it can play the role of the compassionate mother or father. But the mind will never allow the vital to have an inch of the mind's property. That is to say, if the mind is strong, the mind will not allow the frustration, sadness or despair of the vital to enter into the mind. The depression of the vital and the depression of the mind are totally different. The mind has its own problems, and the mind does not allow the vital to enter into it and add to its problems, or even to take away an iota of joy from the mind. But the heart will ask the vital to steal joy from the heart with the hope that one day this little brother will stop stealing and instead will start aspiring.
Again, if it is a real cry from the heart, a burning cry, the cry itself has joy; it is joy itself. But many times when we feel that our cry is very deep, it is actually the cry of the vital's suffering. The vital makes us feel that our cry is coming from the inmost recesses of our heart. In this way, the vital's cry creates problems. Although the intense cry is there, it is not the intense cry of the heart. The cry of the vital will eventually meet with frustration because it is founded upon expectation. But when we have a very intense inner cry or longing for God, we will find that in our longing we are getting so much joy. Even if God does not come and stand in front of us, we do not mind.
I am not discouraging you. Many times you have experienced your heart's cry. But sometimes the cry is from your vital, and that is why you are getting the feeling of sadness.