Part V — Insincerity
Question: What should I do to transform my insincerity into aspiration?Sri Chinmoy: First of all you know that every day you can't eat the most delicious food. You want to eat delicious food, no doubt, but you don't get it every day. Nevertheless, you do eat. In the same way there are days when you do not aspire wholeheartedly. If undivine forces have entered into you, do not be disturbed. Feel that you are in the battlefield of life, and that some forces have attacked you. But don't feel that you are helpless. They have attacked you, but now you have to fight back with your peace, light and bliss. But what if you do not have peace, light and bliss at that time because you didn't aspire that day? You can remember that you did meditate yesterday, or the previous day, or a few days before. So when you are attacked, think of your previous achievement. Today you are beginning to doubt and cherish negative forces, but perhaps yesterday you had a good meditation. Immediately think that yesterday you had such high, powerful meditation. Try to think of that meditation and bring it into your living memory. Then your spiritual power will automatically come to the fore. The divine experiences of yesterday are real wealth. You are not fooling yourself. Yesterday you had the highest experience or you received more light. Always try to think of one good past experience.
Yesterday's good, high experience was a reality. Today's attack is also a form of reality. Don't allow yourself to be mercilessly attacked and destroyed by today's reality. Let yesterday's reality come forward and fight today's reality, and you will see that yesterday's reality is much more powerful than the reality of today.