A lesson in grammar and marriage
A teacher was asking his students many grammar and spelling questions."Martha, you are one of my best students in grammar. Is it right to say, 'Each of the players have smashed the ball'?"
"No, Mr Jones. 'Each of the players has smashed the ball' is correct."
"Very good. Next, can anyone tell me how to spell the word 'find'?"
"I can! I can! It happened to my father just today. F-I-N-E-D," said Philip. "My father was speeding, and he had to pay a lot of money."
All the other students started laughing. Mr Jones said, "Very good. Some of the trickiest words to spell are called 'homonyms'. They sound the same, but are totally different in meaning and spelling."
The teacher continued, "I can use the word 'happy' or the word 'joyful'. Again, I can also use the word 'funny' or the word 'amusing'. Does anyone know what these kinds of words are called?"
The brightest child in the classroom, Roberta, answered, "These are synonyms, because they mean the same thing."
The teacher was very surprised and pleased that Roberta knew the answer. "What about words that mean the opposite? What are they called?"
"Antonyms," replied Roberta.
"Excellent. Now, Jimmy, please tell me, what is the past tense of marry and what is the future tense of marry?"
The student answered, "That is very easy. The past tense of marry is love."
"What about the future tense?" asked Mr Jones.
"Divorce."
All the students plus their teacher broke into a chorus of laughter.
